A friend had a brother who practices scarification on himself, as an artform and way of therapy. To protect his name we will call him “M.” To be clear, I am writing this, not as an endorsement of this type of behavior, but I am not condemning it either. He has scars along his left arm and legs. They are in a sort of pattern, triangles and other patterns.
How long ago did you start scaring yourself?
Started at 7 years old, and I started again 7 years later.
Have you always done it to yourself?
Mostly, it loses its meaning if I don’t do it myself.
Do you also have tattoos?
I want some but they cost a lot of money.
Are your scars planned beforehand?
It depends, it feels like a failsafe. It’s more something that I do if things don’t go as planned. If I get to anxious they can be an outlet for me. It needs to be a worst case scenario, not something that I plan out entirely beforehand, its an option for me or an alternative.
So is it a way of making you feel in control?
No it’s humbling, rather than being in control, it helps me understand not being in control.
So it helps you accept your not in control?
Yes, but not in a temporary way but as a way to remember. That its a situation that should be remembered, not just gotten through… its like a milestone like the way that bears tag trees.
How do you do it?
I break apart a razor and get on of the blades out.
How long since you last did it?
2 months ago.
How long does it take?
Depends, its less painful the faster you are, but you can’t judge how deep it is. It can be very fast or very time consuming.
What do you feel when you do it?
I stop thinking about things as much and focus on it (the act). And I look at things from a different perspective. I adapt through what my mind struggles through on its own. Things change faster than my emotions can. Things change and your not in control of that.
How do you make your designs?
Im an abstract thinker, I build off of what I already have. .
Anything else to add?
It’s a kind of mural in a way..like most people don’t think of scarification as a good thing. The impression of scarification is that its for attention. But there can be a lot more to it than that. It’s not the only reason someone would self harm.
InkMage neither endorses nor does it condone this activity.